There comes a point in every mother’s life – at least it did in mine – in which you stop, breathe and take stock. 

This happened to me about four years ago. I’d spent more than fifteen years mothering three boys (I didn’t do it alone, thank God – the husband was there every step of the way) and I had been working full-time for about a decade since our youngest was born. Some of those jobs I loved some not quite so much, and I’d just turned 45.

By then, our sons were teenagers and, as parents of teenagers know, that comes with them developing a level of independence in their own lives which meant they didn’t need me to be there for them quite as much. I was therefore able to ask myself: what was it that I’d always wanted to do and had not accomplished?

For me, it was to write a novel. I’d harboured the dream since I was fifteen years old, but back in the dark ages, no one seriously left school and declared they wanted to be an author. Instead, I went on to do tertiary study in journalism, which lead to careers in TV and radio journalism, politics, the public sector and the private, as an editor, speechwriter, adviser and communications consultant.

When I looked back, I realised that every single one of those jobs involved writing, which meant that I hadn’t strayed as far from that dream I had when I was fifteen.

So, the most important thing I did, after I’d done that stocktake of my life and my unfulfilled dreams, was to take it seriously. I invested in myself. I went to workshops at the SA Writers’ Centre. I joined the brilliant, supportive and collegiate organisation Romance Writers’ of Australia, went to a conference and soaked up every bit of learning I could.

The other thing that worked in my favour was that I had a deadline. Journalism training proved to be exactly the right background, because I was used to deadlines and could write fast. I had six months in which to write my book before I would have the opportunity to sit in front of a publisher and sell my idea. 

So, I wrote the book in six months. I pitched it to a publisher, Harlequin Australia, and four months later was offered a three-book deal - almost unheard of for new authors. That was 2012. My sixth book for Harlequin, The Three Miss Allens, will be published in October, and I’ve also written four e-books for a US publisher, as I thought it was important to diversify and broaden my international readership.

What have I learned from this and what can I advise other women?

You may have a dream for a long time before you’re in a position to do anything about it.

By that I mean, don't beat yourself up if your book/business idea/consultancy/bakery/hairdressing business/online shop/dream job doesn’t happen right away. If you're a mum, you probably had kids so you could spend time with them creating fantastic human beings. That’s really important stuff. They’re only young once and they grow up really fast. Be patient.

Take your dream seriously.

Writing books isn’t a hobby for me. It’s a paying job. I was always really adamant about getting my husband and kids to understand that this isn’t mum playing around on the computer: it’s work. When the office door is closed, they know I’m working, and they can get their own after-school snacks.

Work hard.

People often ask me: you’ve written ten books. How do you do it? And my answer is: lots of sitting in front of my computer and typing. I work every night and on the weekends. I’m a professional and I have deadlines to meet. I haven’t missed one yet. But the thing is… it’s never a chore. Every single day, fifteen-year old Victoria pops up in my head and says, ‘You mean when I’m older I’ll get to write books that people will love to read? That is so cool.’ Yes, it is.

Victoria Purman is an author, who lives in Adelaide with her husband and three sons. You can connect with her on Facebook at or via her website.