Mums in business all have moments of guilt sometimes. When deadlines demand our attention, the truth is that children sometimes get ignored during those inevitable times when ‘checking a few emails’ turns into a two-hour session of computer focus. (Ironic, when it is often the notion of improved family time that prompts us to leave their jobs and start in business in the first place...) So, to help remind your kids how special they are to you and what you do in business, try these practical tips.

Let me start by saying that this is tough – REALLY TOUGH!  Technology is all-pervasive, and when you don’t have geographic / time boundaries around work and family life (like you would in a job that is physically located away from your kids), it can be tricky to manage. 

My first piece of advice is to be kind to yourself and acknowledge that having a family as well as a business is a juggling act.  Drop any guilt you may be feeling (stop it!  just stop it!), make a decision about what you are doing in the moment, and line up with that decision.  You are good enough.

Tech-Free Time

Next – when you’re with your kids, be with your kids.  (Actually, the same goes for any human being you are interacting with, including and especially your partner!)  Unless there is an urgent work issue, put the technology away when you’re around them.  Kids can sense when you’re not consciously present, even if you there are physically.  

Oh – and, unless there’s something urgent going on, turn off the pings and notification sounds on your phone!  It’s distracting and annoying.  If someone wants you urgently enough, they will call.

Finally – try to have special one-on-one time each day with each of your children (at least 10 minutes) Quality time is more important than the quantity of time. Special time can help your child feel connected to you, and it can also help you feel joy from the experience of being around your child (something that can be a brilliant boost to a stressful workday).  Parenting is damn hard work after all – you deserve to be rewarded for it.

Focus On What’s Important

Children need to feel our focused attention to feel like they are important. Children are always concluding things about themselves based on their interactions with us.  So, if we are constantly distracted or busy when our children our around, what might they logically be concluding about themselves? 

Negative thoughts like “I’m not important” – if left unchallenged – can turn into negative self-esteem beliefs. Secondly, children who feel connected to their parents are more likely to co-operate with them without the need for punishment. Big bonus!

Dealing With Deadlines

First – let your child know that they are important, and that you can’t wait to play with him / her again when you finish the work that she has to do.

Then, give them something age-appropriate to do that will keep them engaged for a while.  If there’s more than one child – get them playing a game together or ask them to come up with a show to perform for you.   If there’s only one child to keep busy – try an activity book that they can do themselves, a sprinkler in the back yard if the weather is warm, a room to make into a fortress, a Lego project, a story to listen to.  If all else fails, stick them in front of a screen.

Taking Care of Business

There are many inventive ways you can get your children involved in your business operation – to help include them and make them feel involved and important (and also learn new skills). 

• Decision-making
• Stuffing envelopes
• Bookkeeping / Budgeting
• Web Site feedback
• Filing
• Letterbox drops

Where you can, get them involved in more than the business – get them helping with the housework as well. Consider the age-appropriateness of each job. Many children love to wash windows and cars, cook, clean, sweep or vacuum. If they’re capable of doing jobs safely, get them while they’re still young and enthusiastic, I say!

Ordinarily, I only work when the kids are asleep, at school or preoccupied with something else. And – when the work/life balance isn’t quite as clear - I have empowered them to tell me to “look up” when I am engrossed in a screen, and they want my attention.  I try to immediately change focus without getting annoyed.

Fresh Ideas For Business

I incorporate my children in business decision-making (although my business output is mostly for children, so I genuinely appreciate their input) and sometimes I use the ideas they come up with.  For example, my daughter Katherine (age 8) suggested I create a calendar, with a different “Fluffy” and affirmation on each page… so this is something I will be aiming to produce for 2018.   My daughters are also helping me with video production and acting /appearing in my videos.

There’s no one right path for everybody.  Life is short and time with our children is precious.  Time without them is precious too.  Keep on juggling, business mamas, and comment below to let me know what has worked for you.

Michelle Lowbeer collaborates with Hairy Thought-Buster (a Superhero for young minds) to bust children's negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, to help children achieve their potential.  Register now at www.hairythoughtbuster.com to receive a free PDF copy of Hairy Thought-Buster's first children's book "I Am Important" - available for a limited time only. When she’s not on her iPhone, you can find Michelle riding her scooter, attempting Acroyoga and reading Harry Potter books with her oldest daughter.  But not all at the same time.