We all whinge and complain about our lot in life at times (albeit, some folk whinge constantly and others only intermittently) and it sure does feel good to off-load.  After all, we aren’t robots - but living, breathing, non-perfect human beings who have professional and personal challenges  and myriad circumstances that we inherit, encounter, attract, amplify or create. 

No one has all the answers and right from birth we are forever learning, absorbing and refining along the journey towards success and happiness. 

But in adulthood there is often a tendency for many to forget that learning should never stop – that it is life-long and that it is absolutely OK to make mistakes and not be a solution machine 24/7.   But sadly for many people, a lockdown in their psyche has built up over the years by toxic fear, ego and shame, which paralyses their ability to ask for help, learn new tricks, take in any external advice - and be open to change.

If things are not working super well and not going to plan for you in your career, business, job search or any aspect of your life – it’s time to ponder on Dr Phil’s famous question and ask yourself:

"Do I have a Teachable Spirit and an Open Mind / Heart?" Because if you don't have these 2 key attitudes, work and life can (and will be!) harder than it needs to be - and much less fun.   

Having a Teachable Spirit and an Open Mind / Heart is often easier said than done, yet they are the main pathways to ease life's trials and tribulations.  Don’t expect the road to be easy. It’s hard work confronting our truths, gaps and vulnerability to redress what we do, how we do it and how we show up in life and business. And then there is the added complication of the many people who take great delight in pulling others down for the sake of elevating their own ego and lack of self-esteem.  The good news, though? Most do try to help with good intent and the right motivation.

I have been reflecting on this subject of late – both from my own challenges  and observing others going through their own business issues. The last 12 months has seen the biggest changes and learning curves of my business life and I have been the beneficiary of some tough business feedback and 'OUCH' moments.  

An 'OUCH' moment occurs when we know in the core of our gut that what we hear or see has a big dose of honesty and reality for us.  It rings true that we, perhaps, haven't looked at a situation in a certain way, addressed another possibility, of have been totally naïve, uncaring or unaware of a better way.  My own recent 'OUCH' moments made me feel so disillusioned and inadequate that I would dive into a pool of misery for a few days as I processed the content. 

Then transformation and growth began as I took the feedback on board – and that propelled me to re-think and re-adjust.  It took courage for those people to deliver it and for me to accept and take action.  ‘No pain, no gain’, hmmm?  I’m very grateful to each person.

While I was on my own 'OUCH' journeys, I witnessed others in a raft of their own struggles and their denial and refusal to accept any advice. Many continue singing the  'whinge song' and are embedded in the 'blame game'. They bemoaned  they couldn’t find a job, get interviews, find good staff, secure new clients, find a new partner, lose weight, work with their current manager – all manner of issues. But the thing that concerned me the most was that many just would not take a look in their own mirror and question if they could make a difference to change the outcomes and alleviate their angst.

Of course, everyone processes information and advice in their own way and in their own time-frame. I have followed many different situations over the last 12 months and observed that many  individuals and companies  are still doing exactly what they did,  are stuck and not thriving - yet still complain.   They have not changed or tried anything different at all.   On the flip side, I have observed the exact opposite for many who experienced success and positive outcomes via a robust teachable spirit and open mind /heart.

I believe that being teachable and having an open attitude is a CHOICE.   There are good and bad ways of giving advice and feedback, of course, and the style or delivery person may not always be the kindest, most diplomatic or even welcome at times.  But you need to check if the actual content could be helpful in any small way.  It may not be, of course  - the advice could be self-serving negative garbage.  It’s important to remember that discernment without ego, fear or shame is crucial to assess all feedback and advice

A few tips to flex a teachable spirit and open mind /heart attitude:

1. Take a honest look in the mirror - we all can do better
2. Make a 'choice' to not let fear and shame stop learning
3. Be approachable and smile – allow yourself to be human
4. Accept always that 2 heads are often better than 1
5. Show attention and be receptive to others (especially people you don’t like)
6. Have a ‘curiosity of the cat’ attitude – it builds your knowledge capacity
7. Trust yourself and others – remember, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes and doesn't know what they don't know
8. Encourage others to share their stories & pain - you may learn something
9. Change your language from ‘should do’   to ‘must do’ for a better outcom
10. Learn something new weekly  - online course, a book, YouTube tutorial, Meet Up Group, White paper - anything
11. Have a chat/ask questions of someone who has different views to yours – remember no one is 100% wrong or 100% right
12. Do something for someone that is the opposite of you - flex your heart

A Teachable Spirit and an Open Mind/Heart are the and greatest keys to succeed at anything in life.   Embrace your 'OUCH' moments, as they have the power for extraordinary transformation. 

Sue Parker is a resume and LinkedIn profile writer and job search coach, who heads DARE Group.  You can connect with Sue through LinkedIn.